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At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what’s the matter?”
Johnny said, “I don’t feel well, I think I’m having a wife.” Last week we talked about Gods incredible love for us this week we will look at Gods plan for kingdom marriage! so what is Gods Blueprint for marriage?
Since we already described Gods love Agape and we see perfect Harmony modeled in front of in The Trinity!
Sooner or later every Christian preacher has to preach on the Trinitarian God. They muddle their way through the mysteries of the Trinity, and their congregations leave as unenlightened as they entered. Modern Christians regularly profess in the Nicene Creed their belief in three persons in one God, but the vast majority recite it without any theological understanding of its content or its relevance to their lives. The great Karl Rahner even suggested that for most Christians the doctrine of the three persons in one God could be erased from their belief system without their noticing any loss. Recent popes have sought to elaborate on the doctrine, both to demonstrate its relevance for modern marriages and to show what a loss it would be to have it vanish from Christian belief. Following the lead of Pope Francis, we seek in this article to present the life of the divine Trinity as the “ideal” of a Christian marriage and Christian marriage as the “true and living icon” of the life and love of the divine Trinity.
One important theological fact that needs emphasis is that Father, Son and Holy Spirit name not only individual divine persons but also intimate divine relations. “Father” immediately connotes relationship to a “Son,” “Son” immediately connotes relationship to a “Father.” Similarly, “husband” immediately connotes relationship to a “wife” and “wife” immediately connotes relationship to a “husband.” Early church fathers made up a Greek word to describe the intimate relations in God, perichoresis, and understood it to mean each divine person making room for the others in and around his own person in loving communion. It can be best understood today to mean an all-embracing mutuality in relationship. In our day, perichoresis names the dynamic process of making room for another person in and around one’s own person, an all-embracing mutuality—not only in the divine Trinity but also in the human duality that is marriage. There are differences in God: The Father is not the Son nor the Holy Spirit; the Son is not the Father nor the Holy Spirit; the Holy Spirit is not the Father nor the Son. There are differences between the divine persons, but there is no inequality; each person makes room for the other two as equal persons. So it ought also to be, we argue, in marriages between Christian spouses.
The religious person will suggest that love comes from God. But Christianity teaches that God is himself love (1 John 4:8, 16). Love isn’t God. But God is love. So what does it mean for God to be love?
Think about it: A solitary god cannot be love. He may learn to love. He may yearn for love. But he cannot in himself be love, since love requires an object. Real love requires relationship. In the doctrine of the Trinity we finally see how love is part of the fabric of creation; it’s essential to the eternal, need-nothing Creator. From eternity past, the Father and the Son and the Spirit have been in community, in relationship. They have loved each other. That loving relationship is bound up in the very nature of God himself.
If God were not a Trinity but merely a solitary divinity, he could neither be love nor be God.
So the Trinity isn’t some weird religious aberration Christians have stupidly clung to. It’s the answer to the deepest longing of the human heart. The Trinity answers history’s oldest desire. It even clarifies the question. It makes us go deeper than sentimental notions and ethereal feelings and elusive emotions. It puts us on solid ground with all this love stuff we’ve been chasing forever. We’re all looking for love. Deep down we all need it in ways we don’t understand or even acknowledge. We search and search. We find glimpses, moments, tastes, and samples of love. We have genuine experiences of love. And yet nothing quite gets us outside of our own hurts, our own self-interest, our own sins. We need the realest love there is.
Ultimate Love
“Greater love has no one than this,” Jesus said, “that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Sacrificial love is the ultimate love. Now imagine that the One who is Love himself sacrificed himself. Imagine that the eternal loving fellowship of the divine community sent out one of their own to die not just for their friends but for enemies. Why would this loving fellowship do this? To make the enemies friends, of course.
And this is precisely what God has done. The second person of the Trinity, the Son of God, takes on flesh and comes to die, that he who is true Love might show true love and give true love and transform by true love. That we might finally know true love. It’s for this reason Fred Sanders declares, “Trinity and the gospel have the same shape! This is because the good news of salvation is ultimately that God opens his Trinitarian life to us.”
This is the hope of all mankind—that the “fusty doctrine” of the Trinity would “come to life” by swallowing us up into the love God has enjoyed since before time began. C. S. Lewis, himself once an atheist, was right: “The thing that matters is being actually drawn into that three-personal life.”
And when somebody trusts in the Jesus of Christianity, they are. Thus we see a beautiful picture of Agape love expressed in The trinity! God is unified in Love,purpose and attributes! In the Trinity we see co Equal but different persons with perfect Love for one another and us! They are all the same in attributes but different functions! Thus in AGod centered marriage we see A Trinity God himself The Husband and wife practicing mutual submission! ! what do i mean by this Each person seeks to Honor,(love (Agape), Respect and treasure each other! At the same time they are in perfect harmony with out strife or selfishness! This is certainly not automatic in any relationship but requires A God centered Life impossible for those not redeemed by christs death and resurrection! Because we have God the Holy Spirit living inside of us! But again last week we learned Agope love is not automatic but requires Gods power and our will to put on the garment of Gods love daily! so what does this loot like in a marriage? 1cor 13:5-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
The best way have found to do this practice is the love languages!
What are the love languages?
We all give and receive love in 5 different ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. These are called ‘love languages’ – a concept created by Dr. Gary Chapman through his long-time work as a marriage counsellor.
When words of affirmation is your love language, words build you up. You thrive on spoken affection, praise, encouragement, and compliments. Harsh words and criticism can bother you for a long time.
Anything that your partner does willingly to ease your workload is a sign of love to you. You feel cared for when your partner vacuums before you get to it or makes you breakfast as a surprise. On the other hand, broken promises or laziness can make you feel unimportant.
When you speak this love language, a thoughtful gift shows to you that you are special. In contrast, generic gifts and forgotten special events have the opposite effect. This love language isn’t necessarily materialistic – it could be as simple as receiving your favourite snack after a bad day.
To you, nothing says you’re loved like undivided attention. When your partner is truly present (and not looking at their phone), it makes you feel important. Failure to actively listen or long periods without one-on-one time can make you feel unloved.
Holding hands, kisses, hugs, and other touches are your preferred way to show and receive love. Appropriate touches convey warmth and safety, while physical neglect can drive a wedge between you and your partner.
How love languages can improve your relationships
Most of us have one or two preferred love languages – often different than our significant other’s. If you express your love through your preferred love language, the chances are that it goes unnoticed by your partner.
Say that your love language is gifts, and you often surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts. How does it make you feel when they just have a quick look at your thoughtful present? Meanwhile, your partner hardly values gifts but appreciates acts of service. It would mean the world to them if you did chores around the house instead of buying gifts. Is your partner feeling loved?
Learning to speak your partner’s preferred language can drastically strengthen your relationship. You can do the free love languages test on the 5 love languages website. Love languages apply to non-romantic relationships as well, and the website includes tests for children and teens. as we explore the love languages of ourselves and our spouse we get insights into to help how to demonstrate and communicate this love to God and our spouse!
Take the test at fivovelangues.com
Then apply them!
now we will do a word study with our friend and Bible scholar Rick Renner!
Charity [agape love] suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not.…
— 1 Corinthians 13:4
During the next six Sparkling Gems, I want to speak to you about Paul’s words in First Corinthians 13:4-8, where he speaks of love. These powerful verses are like a mirror. If you will be brave enough to look honestly into that mirror, you will find that Paul lists fifteen powerful points about the love of God and how it behaves. By peering into these verses, you will be able to determine if your life is a reflection of the high-level kind of love God wants you to exhibit toward others.
If you discover that your life is a reflection of this love, you can praise God for the great growth and maturity you have attained in your life. But if you find that your life does not reflect the kind of love God wants you to possess, take it as a signal from Heaven that you need to change and become more like Jesus!
Paul wrote, “Charity [God’s high-level agape love] suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth…” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
In these verses, the apostle Paul tells us fifteen primary marks or characteristics of agape love. We are going to be looking at all fifteen of these points; however, before we get into the specific manifestations of agape love, let’s first look at the word agape itself, for this is a very special kind of love, unlike any other in the world.
In First Corinthians 13:4-8, Paul uses the word agape to describe the highest level of love in this world, which is also the kind of love God expects every believer to demonstrate in his or her life. This word agape describes a love so completely different from what the world offers that it is only used in the New Testament to describe God’s love and the love that should flow from the hearts of believers.
Agape is a divine love that gives and gives and gives, even if it’s never responded to, thanked, or acknowledged. You could say that agape is a love that isn’t based on response but on a decision to keep on loving, regardless of a recipient’s response or lack of response. Because agape is such an unconditional love, I call it high-level love. It is the highest, most noble, purest form of love that exists.
In First Corinthians 13:4-8, Paul describes the characteristics of agape love. God designed these verses to help you determine whether or not you are walking in this kind of high-level love in your own life.
As Paul begins his description of the conduct of agape, he first writes, “Charity [agape love] suffereth long.…” The words “suffereth long” are taken from the Greek word makrothumia, a compound of the words makros and thumos. As noted earlier (see July 25), the word makros means long. The word makros may indicate something that is long, distant, far, remote, or of long duration. The word thumos means anger, but it also embodies the idea of swelling emotions or a strong and growing passion about something.
When these two words are compounded into one, it forms the word makrothumia, which pictures the patient restraint of anger and therefore longsuffering. It can be translated as the words forbearance and patience.
The word makrothumia (“longsuffering”) is like a candle that has a very long wick. Because its wick is long, it is prepared to burn a long time. It is ready to forbear and patiently wait until a certain person finally comes around, makes progress, changes, or hears what you are trying to communicate or teach him. This is the picture of a person whose feelings for someone else are so passionate that he doesn’t easily give up or bow out; instead, he keeps on going and going and going, even though the other person doesn’t quickly respond to him.
So when Paul says, “charity suffereth long,” his words could be rendered:
“Love patiently and passionately bears with others for as long as patience is needed.…”
Dear friend, this means agape love doesn’t throw in the towel and quit. In fact, the harder the fight and the longer the struggle, the more committed agape love becomes. Like a candle with an endless wick, it just keeps burning and burning and burning, for it never knows how to quit. This, of course, is contrary to human nature, which says, “I’m sick and tired of waiting and believing. If that person doesn’t come around pretty soon, I’m finished with this relationship.”
Are you in a relationship that tests your patience? Are you tempted to throw up your arms in exasperation? If so, you need a good dose of agape love to be released in you!
According to Romans 5:5, the agape love of God has already been “shed abroad” in your heart by the Holy Spirit. This means you don’t have to come up with this supernatural love by yourself. The words “shed abroad” are from the Greek word ekcheo, which denotes a pouring forth, a discharge, a spilling out, or something that is dispersed in abundance. In other words, God has magnificently bestowed on you sufficient love to be longsuffering in any relationship or situation.
God’s love has literally been poured forth, dispensed, and shed abroad in your heart. So when you ask the Holy Spirit to help you, He will release a river of this divine love to flow forth from within you and cause you to be supernaturally longsuffering toward that person who has frustrated you so much.
It’s just a fact that human nature is short-tempered and intolerant, but agape is slow to anger, slow to wrath, and doesn’t know how to quit! It supernaturally becomes stronger and more committed the longer it takes to get through to the heart of the one who is loved. This is a miraculous love — a love that transforms and changes people’s lives.
Second, Paul tells us that love is “kind.” The word “kind” is the Greek word chresteuomai, which means to be adaptable or compliant to the needs of others. When agape is working in your life, you don’t demand that others be like you. Instead, agape makes you want to bend over backwards to become what others need you to be for them! Thus, the word “kind” portrays a willingness to serve and to change in order to meet the needs of others. This is completely opposite of selfishness and self-centeredness.
So when Paul writes that love is “kind,” an expanded interpretation of this phrase would mean:
“…Love doesn’t demand others to be like itself; rather, it is so focused on the needs of others that it bends over backwards to become what others need it to be.…”
If this is what Paul means when he says that love is kind, we must look into the mirror and ask ourselves: Do I become what others need me to be, or do I demand that others be like me? Real agape love doesn’t think of itself first. Instead, it is always reaching out, thinking and focusing primarily on the needs of others. The person walking in agape love adapts to those around him in order to touch them, help them, and impact them in a meaningful way.
Third, Paul tells us that “…charity [agape love] envieth not….” The word “envy” is the Greek word zelos, which portrays a person who is radically consumed with his own desires and plans. This is a person so bent on getting his own way that he is willing to sacrifice anything or anyone to get it. You might describe this person as being ambitious and self-centered. He is so consumed with himself that he doesn’t ever think of the needs or desires of others. His own plans are paramount in his mind, and everyone else come after him.
Therefore, when Paul says, “charity envieth not,” his words could actually be rendered:
“…Love is not ambitious, self-centered, or so consumed with itself that it never thinks of the needs or desires that others possess.…”
I long so much to see this terrible flaw uprooted from all our lives! You see, real agape love doesn’t think of itself first but is always looking outward, thinking of the other person rather than itself. So examine your relationships at home, at church, and at work, and ask yourself: Am I committed to seeing others blessed and successful, or am I more committed to my own cause than anyone else’s? If you’re walking in agape love, your greatest concern is that others succeed!
When all these Greek words and phrases are translated together, this could be an expanded interpretive translation:
“Love passionately bears with others for as long as patience is needed; love doesn’t demand others to be like itself, but is so focused on the needs of others that it bends over backwards to become what others need it to be; love is not ambitious, self-centered, or so consumed with itself that it never thinks of the needs or desires that others possess.…”
This is what it means when the Bible says love is patient; love is kind; and love is not envious. Now you must look into God’s “mirror” and see what it tells you about your own life today. Do you demonstrate these characteristics of divine love in your life? Are you passionately patient with others? Do you bend over backwards to be what other people need you to be? Are you more focused on people around you than on yourself?
If your answer is yes to these questions, then praise God for the great growth and spiritual maturity you have gained in your life. But if you see that your life is not reflecting these attributes of God’s love, you still have something to rejoice about — you can be thankful that God has revealed this deficiency to you. Now you can ask Him to help change you and make you more like Jesus!
My Prayer for Today
Lord, I ask You to help me open my heart so that agape love can flow up from within me. I realize that I’ve allowed myself to get clogged up with my own self-interests far too often. I need to be more focused on the needs of others than I am on myself. I realize that the only way I can become this selfless is to yield to the Holy Spirit so He can do a deep work in my life. Holy Spirit, I am asking You today to do whatever is necessary to teach me how to regularly walk in this high-level, agape love of God.
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